Often when relationships go wrong it is difficult to let go and even harder for women. It’s also sad to note that women stay in toxic relationship for the longest time and take forever to reach that awareness stage.
From past experiences I have noticed that most of the times I am in denial of a situation until I am fed up and cannot take it anymore. There is that stage were you say you are done and find yourself falling for that apology, YES? and that mistake is done again and you are told it’s a mistake but you know second time is intent but you still fall for it by the way after saying you are done again, YES, NO, MAYBE?
We put ourselves through so much trouble of thinking, writing, listening to sad music, blocking and unblocking, deleting pictures, thread messages like a whole lots of shit but the end result is you are not done yet.
Truth of the matter is women have such a high tolerance, we were built to be patient and give things time, we are hopeful and always see the light at the end of the tunnel that we end up not seeing.
Often people tell you to let go and it’s annoying right? Letting go isn’t that straight forward.
According to the hyper sensitive:
1. A sense of “things shouldn’t be this way”.
You’re right that they shouldn’t. Yet, is your sense of indignation keeping you from accepting that -so far- they are this way?
It’s only when you can fully see and feel things for what they are, that you gain the insight necessary to not have them be this way in the future (within limits, of course).
We HSPs often have a strong sense of justice. Know that this helps us create better situations.
From what I learnt, when you are done you don’t say a word, you don’t do anything, you are just done ! Women will wait hoping for change but when she decides to leave prepare to lose her because she will be gone forever.
When the sense of injustice is overwhelming, trust that there is a reason why this happened to you. One day, you’ll be able to see the true “gift” amidst the mess. Until then, you’ll need to trust that a divine and supportive logic is at work here.
2. It’s not just “your stuff” that needs letting go of.
If you’re an empath, then your own experiences (feelings, thoughts, response patterns) will tend to be enmeshed with those of other people. This can make letting go incredibly hard. A different process is needed for letting go of our own stuff as opposed to letting go of others people’s stuff. (take a look at the empath programme if you want specific “learn it once and for all” help with that)
3. A sense of guilt.
When we deeply believe that we somehow deserve painful experiences then it will be very hard to let go. The solution then lies in working with the underlying guilt itself. This guilt is often rooted in our inner logic around “why bad stuff happens”
4. Trouble identifying the core issue.
It can be hard to track down those places where something hurt us the most. Our story about what we believe happened to us can get in the way of finding out what actually happened to us. Insights usually come in steps. If you can’t seem to let go and you think you know exactly how things affected you, then allow yourself to go deeper. Ask: what is the unfamiliar pain underneath the familiar pain? A good way to do this is to notice where you feel the pain of the experience in your body. Then put your hands on that area and ask questions, allowing yourself to uncover and experience what is underneath. If you’re afraid to do this on your own then ask a coach or healer/therapist to help you (that’s what they’re for!).
5. Wanting all the answers.
Sometimes, our brain keeps coming back to the issue because something about it doesn’t make sense. If this is the case, get clear about the question that you want answered. It’s often the “hidden”questions that keep us stuck. When we don’t know what we’re looking for, then we won’t find it. Yet if the urge for answers is strong enough, we’ll keep looking. So, ask yourself what you want to know most. What are you trying to work out and understand? A great way to get clarity is to talk to someone about it or do some writing about it. The act of talking or writing itself often creates a new sense of clarity about what is really at stake.
However what I learnt from my past experiences is when you are done and have reached the awareness stage you do not put yourself through the drama of blocking someone, putting up statuses, telling them you are done, you are just quiet. Your silence will send the message because you do not have energy for shit anymore, like you are DONE ! and when you see that person nothing about you is moved then you know you have won.
When a woman decides that she is done, be prepared to lose her because once she is gone, she is gone forever.
This is something men need to learn about, this business of realizing her worth when she is gone should stop.
What is blinding you from seeing her importance when she is there and embracing it.
My two cents, feelings should not be messed around with.