Ever said I love you to someone and have them just stare at you or receive a thank you?
Often I meet guys who recklessly tell me they love me right after they have seen me or after texting back and forth for a few days or a month and it freaks me out ! Those three words carry so much meaning for me and to have someone just say it is total disrespect.
This has happened numerous times and really got me thinking, how soon is too soon to say I love you? Saying I love you should come with comfort within the relationship after getting past the feelings of lust and longing.
Being in love is not about seeing someone with the perfect body or perfect eyes or with a great flow of conversation but it is about knowing someone inside and out and still accepting them with their flaws; now this is when one can say I love you guiltless. ( My two senses)
According to Rachel Shatto putting yourself out there and telling someone what’s in your heart makes you incredibly brave, but also vulnerable, so if you don’t get the answer you’re hoping for, it hurts.
I am sure your next question is , how do you know you are ready to say it? Alessandra Conti, celebrity matchmaker at Matchmakers In The City, says to follow your partner’s behavioral lead. Even if they haven’t expressed their feelings verbally, if they are behaving like the relationship has legs, it’s likely safe to declare your love.
According to Conti, things to look out for are “if your partner has been consistent in their affections with you, has [officially labeled the relationship] status, and you have spoken about the future.” If you spot these signs, it’s likely your love “is ready to hear what you are feeling.”
Moving forward, if it so happens that you do say the words and do not get a response don’t dismay, it’s not the end of the world, if anything do not be negative about it, play it cool and give your partner time to process it and see how it works out. Otherwise if you are really unwanted in a relationship you will know it and feel it.
So before working on this post, I asked a few people what they think on the topic and these were their thoughts:
- I refuse to accept a declaration of love while i’m still pretending like i don’t like money
- To me it feels like an act you know, like do you really know me to say those words… People should not just throw them around
- I had a guy who just loosely said the words before even actually getting to know me properly and if never felt quite right ,my gut feeling told me to run, and with time it became clear to me that he said it cause he thought that’s what l wanted to hear but he didn’t know how to prove he loved me in his actions ,so yes l do believe there is such a thing as too soon -we shouldn’t just abuse those words they are too special
- Those words are over used. Many people say those words when really what they mean to say is that they are in intense lust rather than in love. I don’t think you can know enough about a person in just one week to know that you love them.
- I think its also too soon but then you have people who say love at first sight
What are your thoughts , can the words be said at anytime? When can one safely say I love you?