Funny story, I have never really gone out on a ‘first’ date but I strongly feel I should point out how my first date should be like.
Relationships are very scary for me, I have gone through quite a lot with men, been led on and left in the cold stranded. My body and privacy has been invaded by men who had no long term plans with me after making me believe or see things that way.
So I sat down and thought to myself, why is it I meet almost the same type of men.
In college I was quite the party animal and looking back I realized most of the men I hooked up with where people I met in the club or somewhere drinking.
In some instances I was hooked up with people who were already in relationships, serious ones too because they thought I was that ‘girl’ comfortable doing another woman’s nigga (Sad).
None of them took me on a real date. I always envied and still do, women that have been taken to the movies, lunch, dinner; the cute picnics etc because no one has ever done that for me.
It got to a point where almost everyone I hooked up with wanted me at his house. I got sick of it and pulled the plug.
It’s been two months since I moved out of my uncle’s house (Gosh he knows I miss him) and I have guys blow up my phone for sleepovers, I’m not doing that, I love my privacy and there are steps taken to get to that level.
How does someone that has not met you in person want to come to your house, after 6 PM and sleep over? I am not very strong on morals but in this case, it is morally wrong, in every sense.
Now someone will say you are thinking too much, people vibe in different ways but I would like to think there is an ideal set up for a first date.
First dates are for getting to know each other better and deciding if you want to see this person again. In my opinion this is achieved in an outdoor setting where you can explore a whole lot of activities and not have you be the activity at the end of the night.
Secret admirers and fellow crushies take note, taking me to your house for the first time is a NO for me. Coming to my house for the first time before actually getting to know me is a big NO.
The last few years have taught me to be able to say no and someone is supposed to appreciate and respect that. In addition if you really want to pursue me that should not stop you from trying.
I want to feel special and see the effort someone is putting in wanting me and in my eyes your place or mine is not ideal for a first date.